the mechanics of affection
by Amarielah
Summary: Gohan asks Piccolo some difficult questions, and gets some equally difficult answers. One-sided Gohan - Piccolo.


"Can I ask you a question, Mr Piccolo?" said Gohan. He was laying down by the river, hands folded behind his head, watching the clouds drift by.

Had Gohan been anyone else, Piccolo might've been tempted to point out that he'd already asked him a question. Instead, he replied, "Go ahead." His meditation hadn't been especially deep, so he didn't resent the break in their companionable silence.

There was a pregnant pause before Gohan spoke again. "Did you really try to take over the world?"

Piccolo supposed that the question was an inevitable one, so he saw no reason to obfuscate. "Yes," he replied.

"...And you killed Krillin?"

He chose his words carefully. "One of my children did, acting in my interests." It was true that he hadn't specifically ordered Tambourine to kill the kid, but he would have. He'd targeted every participant in the World Martial Arts Tournament, after all.

There was another long pause, and Gohan pushed himself upright. "You wouldn't do it again, though. You've changed."

It wasn't a question. "It no longer holds any interest to me," he confirmed. Looking back, it was hard to remember why it had ever held any interest to him at all, aside from getting revenge on Kami. The Earthlings had never mattered much to him, one way or the other. They'd simply been...toys.

Truthfully, he still didn't particularly care for the Earthlings, even after his fusion with Kami - but he knew that Gohan did. And if it pleased Gohan that Piccolo protected them...

Well, it was a chore he could endure.

"Mr Piccolo..." said Gohan, cutting through his thoughts. His cheeks were very red. "Can I...uh, kiss you?"

Piccolo frowned in confusion. Kissing was a human ritual that had never made a lot of sense, with its seemingly infinite variations in both execution and social meaning. He'd seen Gohan kiss his mother's cheek, his brother's forehead. These he knew were signs of familial affection.

Did Gohan think of him as family? The possibility made warmth bloom in Piccolo's chest. "If you wish," he finally said, a blush coming to his own cheeks. Whether from pleasure or embarrassment, he wasn't entirely sure.

Gohan's eyes lit up with joy, his mouth forming a shy smile. He scrambled over the few meters that separated them and climbed into Piccolo's lap, tilting his head so that their mouths came together.

For all his ignorance, Piccolo knew that a kiss on the mouth had a very different meaning than a kiss on other parts of the face. It wasn't an unpleasant sensation, exactly, but his stomach still twisted in discomfort. Gently, he pushed Gohan back.

Gohan's elation morphed all-too-quickly into fear. "Was it not nice?" he asked, looking close to tears. Years ago, Piccolo would've berated Gohan for displaying his weakness so openly.

Oh, how things had changed. He was tempted to resume the kiss if only to wipe the distress from Gohan's face. But he sensed very strongly that this would only result in more problems down the line. With great effort, he forced himself to ask: "Is this...a romantic gesture?"

Tears welled in Gohan's eyes as he gave a slow nod.

Piccolo let go of the youth's shoulders. "I thought humans had to be older before they experienced such impulses," he said. Saiyans too, presumably.

"It's normal to feel like this when you're fourteen!" Gohan replied, his tone turning defensive. He deflated quickly, however. "At least, I'm pretty sure it is."

"You'd know better than me," Piccolo admitted, wishing very much that Gohan would leave his lap. It hadn't even occurred to him that mammals could feel sexual attraction for the same gender. Whatever the biological reality, Piccolo most closely resembled a human male. Wasn't producing offspring the whole point of the exercise?

Besides: even if Gohan was old enough to feel attraction, it didn't follow that it was healthy to act on it. Such decisions had life-long consequences, from what Piccolo had seen. The physical gap in their ages was large enough at four years; the mental gap was another matter entirely. Piccolo had memories spanning centuries.

Whatever brief physical satisfaction he could offer the boy would surely mean nothing if the experience left him feeling confused or uncomfortable. And Gohan was simply too...precious...for Piccolo to risk it.

Perhaps sensing his discomfort, Gohan climbed out of his lap, pulling his knees up to his chest. "Namekians just don't ever feel that way, huh?"

Smart kid. Piccolo was glad he didn't have to go into the details himself. "Not in my experience, no."

Gohan wiped away the slight wetness on his cheeks, nodding. "I guess I knew that already. I just..." He swallowed visibly. "I love you so much."

Piccolo flushed, finding himself at a loss for words. Nobody had ever expressed affection for him, in all the years he'd experienced consciousness. He was unsure how to respond.

Gohan got to his feet. "It's okay, Mr Piccolo. I know you love me too. Just...not in that way." He gave Piccolo a wan smile. "I'm sorry for making you feel so uncomfortable. With the questions, and, um, other stuff."

Piccolo cleared his threat. "It's fine," he said gruffly. "I said you could do both."

"But I still made you feel bad." Gohan bit his bottom lip, then said, "I'll see you later, Mr Piccolo."

With that, he took to the air.

Piccolo tried to return to his meditation without success.


End file.
